I remember a few years back Colin Cowherd revealing to his listening audience on ESPN radio that he and his wife (Kim, I believe her name actually might be) were getting divorced. They have two children together. I remember him extolling her virtues. I remember him talking about how hard the struggle can be. And I remember him saying "it's nobody's fault. Two people grow apart." I remember this because I too was on the precipice of a divorce. I remember thinking how brave of him it was to publicly discuss what can be so painful a personal issue. I then remember thinking, "back the truck up....NOBODY'S FAULT?! SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!!" With all due respect to Mr. Cowherd, who has recently announced to the world that he is braving the marriage waters once again (best of luck to him and his fiancée), he has never been more wrong about anything in his career...and for those who listen to him, that's saying a helluva lot. Know this, all three of you who read this blog: ANY time there's a dissolution of a committed, complex relationship, there is blame to be passed around. There is no easy disengagement. It is tangled, it is messy; and it damn well should be. Vows were exchanged; documents signed. In real life as in sports, it is ALWAYS someone's fault.
It could have been easy for me to say it was "no one's fault" that my marriage didn't last. Hell, some people, including my parents' priest, posited that it never actually started. But that's merely pacifistic bullshit. It was primarily her fault. It was certainly partly my fault. Bottom line though, was that it was a commitment. And more importantly than any athletic relationship for a term, this was supposed to be a lifelong commitment. Any violation of such an arrangement is without question someone's fault. Any violation of a bona fide contractual relationship in sports is, to a lesser degree, ALSO to be blamed on someone.
The University of Oregon mercifully, FINALLY cut ties with Ernie Kent at the end of this past college basketball season after 13 years of what can best be described as an unsatisfying abusive relationship. Kent would slap us, make us feel listless and miserable, have us just ready to sum up the strength to walk away, and then come crawling back to us with roses, a nice present, and an elite eight trip to make us feel warm and special again. He'd promise he'd never hurt us or embarrass us again, and we'd fall for it. Every time. 13 years. 13 long, painful, thankless years. We had hardware to show for it, certainly. Conference tourney titles, a handful of March Madness berths, and plenty of bruises and betrayals. Like most things pertaining to the Ducks, it took Phil Knight's money for the Oregon Athletic Department to summon the courage to finally send Kent packing; not wanting a (so sorry for this) lame-duck coach patrolling the sidelines of the most expensive college basketball arena in the land. And when this was finally done, when there was nothing left but Ernie Kent's tear-stricken press conference, you could not with a straight face say this was "no one's fault." Ernie Kent had failed. Over and over and over. Oregon had failed for letting the relationship go on as long as it had. It failed by starting it to begin with. Kent was the wrong hire. Oregon failed when it re-upped him. Each time. Make no mistake, this was a divorce. Oregon keeps the kids and the house, Kent walks away with alimony.
Oregon's now back out on the prowl, trying to feel better by throwing itself at every pretty or popular face it sees. It's embarrassed itself publicly, fallen on its face amid its quest for self-affirmation, and still seeks an identity. It had one with Kent; that identity just happened to be pathetic and hapless. Now, unlike its players, the Oregon basketball program is looking to rebound. You cannot tell me this was "no one's fault."
The empty nest syndrome hit the Oregon athletic department just as hard. Like so many relationships in their sunset, with nothing to hold them together once times have grown stale, UO said goodbye to Mike Bellotti. The man who took the helm from Rich Brooks and saw the football program through the most successful stretch in school history, the man who brought in new flavor of the month Chip Kelly to run the squad and was handed a buddy/buddy seat as the "athletic director" once the rich and dumb Pat Kilkenny got bored running the school's athletic department like a fantasy baseball team, and the man who recruited the players responsible for the school's recent national embarrassment was ushered out. The thrill is gone. While you can't fault Mike Bellotti for not being AD material, and there's no one who knows anything about this situation who would argue he had any business holding that position, you can fault him for bringing in young men who, as objective facts have unfortunately demonstrated, never had any business wearing a Duck jersey. And you can fault Pat Kilkenny for hiring him as AD. This was a grand marriage between a program and a coach. It ended quickly, it ended sadly, and it ended unavoidably as a result of loose practices and confused roles. But in the end, it was definitely someone's fault. Oh by the way, Bellotti received $2.3 mil as a buyout in a payment that was never reduced to written form, and he broke his fall with ESPN. Don't cry for him.
Divorces never "just happen." Sorry Cowherd, but people don't just "grow apart." Someone is to blame, someone fucked up, and someone has the burden to bear. There are times where divorces need to happen, but this necessity was borne out of blame. Santonio Holmes, your fault. Philadelphia Eagles, your fault. Pete Carroll, your fault. Ultimately, when a meaningful relationship comes to a withering halt, no one walks away with clean hands.
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