Since my partners can't seem to form a sentence,

They seem to be no different than the players of the Pittsburgh Steelers. (That's right Taylor, I more or less called you a Steeler.) I've already written at least two bullshit articles, at various times, on various blogs, regarding the intellectually challenged frontman of the Steel Unit, Ben Roethlisberger. Oddly, at each moment, my criticism had to do with judgment, or lack thereof. Never have I actually bothered to accuse Ben of a "crime," even though I do believe that a man of lesser stature and means would be indicted of crimes in his situations; but be that as it may, Ben Roethlisberger has yet to actually even be charged with a criminal offense during his NFL career, let alone indicted or convicted. As everyone in the sports-loving, air-breathing, god-fearing world knows by now, however, Ben has been associated with a sexual assault charge for the second time within a year, give or take a few months.

The first allegation garnered only criticism, publicity, a pending civil suit, and comments by stupid bloggers like me directed at Ben; and COUNTLESS remarks, snarks, jeers, disbeliefs, scoffs, and dismissals from the Steeler faithful toward the accuser's allegations; even from a dear friend of mine who is at once an avowed Steeler fan and a staunch feminist. (NO, NOT TERRY BRADSHAW!!!!!!) But this time around, this past month, allegations against Ben had more traction. While no charges were filed against Ben (he's wealthy and has intimidating legal counsel, and facts are naturally "murky" when everyone involved is shit-faced), this marks the third time as a pro that he's proven to be a fucktard, and the second time his actions have allegedly VITALLY harmed a woman. So Ben, what is to become of you?

Well, the Pittsburgh Steelers ownership, for their part, threatened discipline of Ben at first regardless of what the NFL decided to do about this lustful brigand, then said their discipline would coincide with the NFL's decision, and also said they would like to handle the matter internally. Sorry Vice Principle Rooney, but there was NO WAY that was going to work. For one thing, De'Maurice Smith and the NFLPA would automatically appeal any suspension of any significant magnitude handed down by a team to one of its players, REGARDLESS of the fact that no player, NOT ONE, stood up and said anything in defense of Roethlisberger at any point during this fracas. Secondly, this league is not run by a collection of NFL teams in some sort of feudalistic enterprise. Hell no. This is Roger Goodell Country.

The NFL, like other professional sports leagues, is a fascinating business structure wherein each member, or team, is for all intents and purposes an independent corporation. However, said corporation is beholden to the guidelines and direction of the NFL front office, i.e. Commissioner Goodell. Goodell is essentially the trustee of the League, and the collection of NFL team owners are the beneficiaries of said trust. They put Goodell in place and entrusted him with the stewardship of their well-being and productivity. Players, to a more derivative extent, are also beneficiaries of this trust, and of Goodell's judgment and leadership. And just like in most trusts, Goodell implicitly possesses a great deal of power, and more importantly, a great deal of leeway and freedom in wielding that power. Ben's fate fell squarely, inevitably, in the cross hairs of Goodell's purview.

I have been extremely critical of the NFLPA and its willingness to sign on to the terms of the existing Collective Bargaining Agreement with former Commissioner Paul Tagliabue. The late Gene Upshaw, one of the best linemen in the history of the game, and a crusader for free agent rights, made what I consider to be a critical mistake in caving to stipulations regarding league discipline for player conduct off the field. In short, Roger Goodell's current policies and powers for punishing players for being douche bags was borne of a weakness by the NFLPA and its former leadership. Mind you, I feel that playing pro football is a privilege, and any one who commits a violent crime, acts stupidly enough to place others in danger, or does ANYTHING warranting punishment should damn-well be punished. I also think, however, that a labor union has the iron-clad duty to fight the system and give its members competent representation. In this case, the NFLPA failed. Roger Goodell has absolute authority to mete out whatever punishment he sees fit for player conduct "detrimental to league image," and the only appellate body a player can refer to is, well, Roger Goodell. Game, set, match.

But let's go back to the fact that Goodell is pressed with the duty of keeping the League healthy, wealthy, and wise. Once players fully embrace that, and if they can actually trust Goodell's vision, then it could easily be that the expected rancor toward a player's suspension or public flogging at the hands of Goodell becomes somewhat muted. That is what is so powerful about Goodell's decision regarding Ben Roethlisberger. He has suspended Ben at a minimum of six games this season. Many, my lovely girlfriend included, think that the punishment falls well short of what they might deem sufficient; considering Roethlisberger faced an investigation of charges that he plied underage women with shot after shot, got one blind-stinking drunk to the point she couldn't handle herself, had a bodyguard (an off-duty cop who is now in peril of losing his job because of his involvement) more or less drag her into a dark hallway, had other body guards run interference on her friends who were trying to save her, and then proceeded to allegedly perpetrate the sexual misconduct even though she allegedly said no.

But consider this: Six weeks without pay. Understand that Ben just inked a massive contract with the Steelers last season, so these will be hefty paychecks he forfeits. Also, as the season is 16 games long, this suspension means the Steelers will be deprived of their "franchise" quarterback for over one third of the regular season in a conference that has seen two other teams, the Bengals and Ravens, make key acquisitions and phenomenal draft choices to strengthen their pursuit of a division crown. Therefore, not only is Ben punished monetarily and publicly for his transgressions (he has lost several endorsement deals, and will be sure to lose more), be they affirmed in a court of law or not, but the corporation who employs him has also been severely punished, as have his teammates. The shame tactic is immensely powerful with athletes.

Additionally, Goodell's decision is a landmark because Roethlisberger has, again, not been charged with a crime. All other examples of Goodell wielding the axe followed a criminal investigation, indictment, and in certain cases, conviction. In this instance, Goodell did not wait for due process of law; he acted proactively in the best interests of the League and what he believes it should stand for. Whether or not Ben was convicted, he is unquestionably an immature dumbass who has bounced his head off a windshield after riding his Akira-esque motorcycle through downtown Pittsburgh at high speeds without wearing a helmet, allegedly raped a hotel hostess in Tahoe, and now is beset with the allegations noted above.

Also of note, this is the first time Goodell has reprimanded a popular, wealthy, marquee WHITE player. Though as a whole the Ben Roethlisberger case has nothing to do with race, consider the impact it might have among players that Goodell is not just going to come down on black players who get rowdy off the field. He will put his foot up any player's ass, any time, any where, regardless of what color that ass might be. He has to. It's his job as the trustee. And more and more, players can rely upon and expect the fact that Goodell will bringeth the smacketh down. Bring the pain Roger. Bring. The. Pain.

Divorce is always someone's fault.

"Everything ends badly. Otherwise it wouldn't end." - Brian Flannagan

I remember a few years back Colin Cowherd revealing to his listening audience on ESPN radio that he and his wife (Kim, I believe her name actually might be) were getting divorced. They have two children together. I remember him extolling her virtues. I remember him talking about how hard the struggle can be. And I remember him saying "it's nobody's fault. Two people grow apart." I remember this because I too was on the precipice of a divorce. I remember thinking how brave of him it was to publicly discuss what can be so painful a personal issue. I then remember thinking, "back the truck up....NOBODY'S FAULT?! SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!!" With all due respect to Mr. Cowherd, who has recently announced to the world that he is braving the marriage waters once again (best of luck to him and his fiancée), he has never been more wrong about anything in his career...and for those who listen to him, that's saying a helluva lot. Know this, all three of you who read this blog: ANY time there's a dissolution of a committed, complex relationship, there is blame to be passed around. There is no easy disengagement. It is tangled, it is messy; and it damn well should be. Vows were exchanged; documents signed. In real life as in sports, it is ALWAYS someone's fault.

It could have been easy for me to say it was "no one's fault" that my marriage didn't last. Hell, some people, including my parents' priest, posited that it never actually started. But that's merely pacifistic bullshit. It was primarily her fault. It was certainly partly my fault. Bottom line though, was that it was a commitment. And more importantly than any athletic relationship for a term, this was supposed to be a lifelong commitment. Any violation of such an arrangement is without question someone's fault. Any violation of a bona fide contractual relationship in sports is, to a lesser degree, ALSO to be blamed on someone.

The University of Oregon mercifully, FINALLY cut ties with Ernie Kent at the end of this past college basketball season after 13 years of what can best be described as an unsatisfying abusive relationship. Kent would slap us, make us feel listless and miserable, have us just ready to sum up the strength to walk away, and then come crawling back to us with roses, a nice present, and an elite eight trip to make us feel warm and special again. He'd promise he'd never hurt us or embarrass us again, and we'd fall for it. Every time. 13 years. 13 long, painful, thankless years. We had hardware to show for it, certainly. Conference tourney titles, a handful of March Madness berths, and plenty of bruises and betrayals. Like most things pertaining to the Ducks, it took Phil Knight's money for the Oregon Athletic Department to summon the courage to finally send Kent packing; not wanting a (so sorry for this) lame-duck coach patrolling the sidelines of the most expensive college basketball arena in the land. And when this was finally done, when there was nothing left but Ernie Kent's tear-stricken press conference, you could not with a straight face say this was "no one's fault." Ernie Kent had failed. Over and over and over. Oregon had failed for letting the relationship go on as long as it had. It failed by starting it to begin with. Kent was the wrong hire. Oregon failed when it re-upped him. Each time. Make no mistake, this was a divorce. Oregon keeps the kids and the house, Kent walks away with alimony.

Oregon's now back out on the prowl, trying to feel better by throwing itself at every pretty or popular face it sees. It's embarrassed itself publicly, fallen on its face amid its quest for self-affirmation, and still seeks an identity. It had one with Kent; that identity just happened to be pathetic and hapless. Now, unlike its players, the Oregon basketball program is looking to rebound. You cannot tell me this was "no one's fault."

The empty nest syndrome hit the Oregon athletic department just as hard. Like so many relationships in their sunset, with nothing to hold them together once times have grown stale, UO said goodbye to Mike Bellotti. The man who took the helm from Rich Brooks and saw the football program through the most successful stretch in school history, the man who brought in new flavor of the month Chip Kelly to run the squad and was handed a buddy/buddy seat as the "athletic director" once the rich and dumb Pat Kilkenny got bored running the school's athletic department like a fantasy baseball team, and the man who recruited the players responsible for the school's recent national embarrassment was ushered out. The thrill is gone. While you can't fault Mike Bellotti for not being AD material, and there's no one who knows anything about this situation who would argue he had any business holding that position, you can fault him for bringing in young men who, as objective facts have unfortunately demonstrated, never had any business wearing a Duck jersey. And you can fault Pat Kilkenny for hiring him as AD. This was a grand marriage between a program and a coach. It ended quickly, it ended sadly, and it ended unavoidably as a result of loose practices and confused roles. But in the end, it was definitely someone's fault. Oh by the way, Bellotti received $2.3 mil as a buyout in a payment that was never reduced to written form, and he broke his fall with ESPN. Don't cry for him.

Divorces never "just happen." Sorry Cowherd, but people don't just "grow apart." Someone is to blame, someone fucked up, and someone has the burden to bear. There are times where divorces need to happen, but this necessity was borne out of blame. Santonio Holmes, your fault. Philadelphia Eagles, your fault. Pete Carroll, your fault. Ultimately, when a meaningful relationship comes to a withering halt, no one walks away with clean hands.