Conversation #1: Rendered speechless by Lawyerly Hypocrisy.
While waiting for the super bowl to start, where I won a double or nothing (I was the nothing) $398 bet with a fellow Half-Ear commentator...
Myself: Well, he is going to be in prison for the next two years...
Angry Former ACLU and current Douchebag Lawyer: Who?
Myself: Plaxico Burress.
Angry Former ACLU and current Douchebag Lawyer: Why?
Fellow H-E Commentator: Because he got caught in New York with a gun, where they have crazy gun laws.
Angry Former ACLU and current Douchebag Lawyer: But, I mean, I really like strict gun laws, but that seems like too much to me.
Myself: (No words came to mind, so I just snickered, smacked my forehead and walked outside with my beer).
Remind me again why I'm a "douchebag?" And why does it make me a hypocrite that I think two years in a jail is a lot for being caught with a gun? It does not follow from the fact that I believe in gun laws that I would also believe that a 2-year jail stint was the most appropriate sentence.
ReplyDeleteEver seen "Big Fish?" It makes sense when you think like "Lawyers Suck." Ya see, to him, there are two types of people. Him, and everyone else.
ReplyDeleteGeneralizations said, he makes the hypocrite comment in this instance for the specific reason that said lawyer states, on the one hand, "I'm all for strict gun laws," and then says "I think it's too strict." Bear in mind, this is the same dude that has to try to arrest these poeople based on the rules we set.
Typical Lawyerly arguments (if lawyerly with a capital 'L' is a word?). "It does not follow from the fact that I believe in gun laws that I would also believe that a 2-year jail stint was the most appropriate sentence." It absolutely follows, tracks, or whatever you want to call it. Stricter gun laws mean stricter sentences, so please don't complain when they are enforced... Also, C.F., when those in the legal profession refer to so-called 'laws' as 'rules we set', please understand that nothing paints my Seurat-style point better than someone compressing our current system of laws into a profession-based paradigm.
ReplyDeleteOh crap, in response to your first and most important question, Dona Danielle: because you made out with Taylor.
ReplyDelete