Let’s get one thing clear. I hate the Patriots. I hate them with venom and anger. I hate their prima donna QB who left his pregnant girlfriend. I hate their asshole coach who shames players into playing/practicing with concussions (Ted Johnson). I hate their asshole coach who cheated on his wife. I hate their asshole coach who cheated and filmed teams' practices (all the same guy!). I hate Rodney Harrison, though I like him as a commentator…
The point is, I fucking hate the patriots.
Which is sad. Because, for one gleaming moment, even though I did not realize it at the time, they were all that was right about football.
See, the thing about sports is that really they’re simply a replacement for war (though a very ineffective one). As we all know, the first Olympics were held in an effort to replace war altogether (epic fail?). In war, you take to the field with your teammates, and in sports you do the same. Hell, in some cultures the losers even got killed, much like war (though I am far too lazy to look up which ones). My point is that, sports are their most refined when they are most like war. Also, individual sports are bullshit.
And that is why football is the greatest sport. It is the only sport where it NEVER comes down to one man. A baseball game will often times come down to a pitcher versus a hitter (ask Joe Carter and Mitch Williams if you do not believe me). Soccer often times ends in a shootout, which is simply ten one-on-one encounters. And ask any Dallas Mavericks fan if basketball can be reduced to the play of one man (and for the record, Dirk had a game against the Spurs that season where he made 3 baskets and scored 27 points, so Mavs fans can shut the hell up).
Football is a completely different animal. The great touchdown pass requires good blocking of at least 5 men (or it would be a sack), a good throw (no receiver can catch a ball 8 feet over their heads, unless it is Calvin Johnson in the fourth quarter of a 42-6 game), and a receiver to catch the ball (poor Jackie Smith). A winning field goal requires 8 blockers, a snapper, a holder, and the kicker (who gets all the credit, but all the blame, so that is fair). Even a great defensive play requires multiple players since the greatest coverage in the world is useless if everyone else blows their assignment. Not to mention that at least 30 players will have an impact for each team during any given game. Football is the ultimate team sport.
Which brings me back to the Patriots. See, growing up the super bowl had a tradition. Before the game, each team would introduce the starters from their offense or defense (usually the offense, though I think some teams did the D) one at a time. This always happened. Then, Super bowl 36 rolled around. The Rams, the prohibitive favorite, had their offense introduced first. Then, it was the Patriots turn (and I think had they gone with tradition, they might have introduced their D). And where I expected names, there was simply fireworks and a team running onto the field. I was stunned. Everyone was. What just happened? Was that a glitch? Did the Fox botch the introductions? Did they come out as a team? Huh…
You know the rest. The Patriots won. Somehow, someway the scrappy underdog came out victorious. It was such a monumental moment that since that time, every team has come out as a team. In this way, the Patriots really changed football for the better.
Which brings us to the second moment.
The next year the Patriots went 9-7 and lost the division (and a playoff birth) via tiebreaker. And this is where their destiny was forever altered. If they had self-destructed after this, gone 8-8 the next year, they would have been remembered as the scrappy hero. The team that united for one run and achieved the impossible dream. The team that should not have won, but did anyways. How very Major League of them…
Instead, you know the history. They gelled after going 2-2 to start the 2003 season, won 18 straight(21 including playoffs), and 2 more super bowls. Coaches got high paying gigs (Charlie Weiss is the most comical of all these), Brady became famous, and Rodney Harrison was convicted of murder. The scrappy underdog became the villain. It didn’t help that their coach was a huge douchebag all along (though I’d bet a lot of NFL coaches are). Eventually they traded for malcontent Randy Moss and, surprise surprise, he fit right in. The Patriots become the villain of the NFL, with most fans reveling in their defeats, first to the colts and then to the Eli Manning-led Giants (when the Pats were 18-0!). A team once the laughingstock of the AFC east was now the big, bad juggernaut whose defeats were to be relished.
And yet, for all the ill that became of the patriots, there will always be that moment. The moment when a team with a sixth-round quarterback refused to revel in glory, and instead reveled in team. The moment when 53 men combined to achieve victory against insurmountable odds. The moment when team beat hype. It sounds like a cliché from a movie. Honestly, it should have been.
I wish the Patriots had died the hero.
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It's amazing how much the Patriots in their "prime" made me wistful for the days of the Cowboys, when a team that was actually superior in all facets both won convincingly and deserved all the hatred it received. You cannot tell me the 90s Cowboys would have mercy-ruled the Pats. And, oh by the way, the Pats only reached this historical plateau through the most comical loophole of a football rule ever. Ironically, it victimized arguably the most hated franchise in NFL history.
ReplyDelete*would NOT have mercy ruled. My apologies.
ReplyDeleteYes I can, the pats would have filmed all their practices and known what was coming. Knowledge bitch!
ReplyDeleteThe patriots dynasty would have been nothing except for Lord A.V. himself. Yup, I said it, clutch kicking was the key to Patriot Greatness.
ReplyDeletep.s. Adam Vinatieri once kicked a ball so hard that his post-game interview turtle-neck became a mock turtle-neck. Not funny, but true.